Dating Normies And The Cultural Bond Of Addiction

In  checking the Urban Dictionary and several other resources, I found a few different definitions of the word ‘normie’. First, a normie, was described as a normal person- one who does not have a mental illness such as bipolar disorder, schizophrenia, mood disorders, PTSD, depression or something similar. Normie was also said to be a term differentiating addicts (who use drugs as medicine) and normies, (who use drugs for fun). In the addiction arenas I travel in, a normie is simply someone who is not an addict, and not in recovery, least we forget that the majority of us can consume in moderation and are able to balance libations and life.

12 steppers promote not only a template for recovery, but a fellowship to support you while you are working the steps, and then after. It is a tight-knit group disclosing the intimate details of their lives including their dirty secrets and deeds, in an attempt to unite and overcome the affliction they commonly share. The cultural bond is cemented at the meetings, at the sober livings, at the rehabs, at the outpatient groups, and in the halls of the courts. To say they gravitate toward each other is an understatement.

You can go to the forums yourself and read what addicts say about dating normies, pro and con. From what I see, the community of recovery and relapse the larger percentage does not date outside it’s group. I could not say, one way or another, which, if either, is best. I am guessing that, because of the long and very personal road to recovery these folks share, there becomes a loyalty and an attraction to each other.

Is a part of moving on, moving on from the recovery community, ultimately? I cannot say for sure but I can say from all my readings, there seems to always be some inexplicable gap between the addicts and the normies. They say normies handle problems differently and often do not understand that the recovery program comes first, then the relation ship (even for the chronic relapsers), and then there is the issue of disclosing the addiction or not to, or when to, or ‘why didn’t you tell me this sooner’, and all that. My daughter says normies treat her like either a patient or an outcast, and all in all they just don’t ‘get it’.

If the 12 step folks are right, the addict is always in recovery, and that means for a life time. Why then would he not seek out the peers, sponsors and role models of his community?  Do you know any normies that date addicts, or vice versa?  Your comments are always welcome…