Tough Love Vs Kind Love

 I tried tough love a few times. The shoe just didn’t fit. I’ve always been a solicitor of cooperation- never the disciplinarian. But many believe tough love is necessary, for the best interest, of course, of the one receiving the tough love, which is absurd.

I am relating this all to our drug addicts- who receive the most devastating consequences, all for the one simple act of relapse. I have seen individuals consistently expelled from rehab for having a slip, and then the poor soul has lost his food and shelter, treatment, and may also have suffered some criminal charges too, and may not be allowed back to the treatment facility for 30 days or 60 days, while in the meantime, they are on the streets high, cause if they had the ‘self control’ to not use for the 30 or 60 days, they wouldn’t need residential treatment now, would they? A high price to pay, if you will pardon the pun.

It is put so well by Dr. Peter Ferentzy who writes for the Huffington Post in his article http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/dr-peter-ferentzy/drug-addiction-tough-love_b_1000184.html giving new meaning to the word ‘enabling’. He does concede that there may come a time when someone in your life is too much to bear, and letting that person go might be necessary, however it is best to come clean and admit that you are doing it for yourself- Throwing people to the dogs for their own good is nonsense and starting to wear thin.

And here is another article by a top doc explaining why kind love beats tough love. http://healthland.time.com/2012/08/17/treating-addiction-a-top-doc-explains-why-kind-love-beats-tough-love/#ixzz2ZY3Wwkuo At the end of the day it is a matter of believing the addict is worth saving, even if he/she is still using.

http://www.wickedlocal.com/harvard/news/lifestyle/religion/x1146191427/Suzette-Martinez-Standring-Kindness-heals This is a great article from the Harvard Post, Called ‘Kindness Heals”

                                             KIND LOVE HEALS